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Category Archives: Feminism

Starting afresh with a Tuesday treat in the shape of books. New section to review some of the literary pieces that am hands on.

For the opening of this section I give you two readings. The full review coming up next Tuesday.

1. “Girls to the front. The true story of the Riot Grrrl Revolution” Sara Marcus. Published by Harper Perennial.

From the first pages, the brutal honesty Marcus delivers makes you feel instantly like  you have found a long-lost friend from your high school years. She is reviewing the story lived by many of us,one way or another, as well as the feminist phenomena as well as popular subculture hit that was the Riot Grrrl movement. Cannot wait to finish it and give a proper full review.


2. “Riot Grrrl. Revolution Girl Style Now!” Foreword by Beth Ditto of The Gossip, text by Julia Downes, Red Chidgey, Cazz Blase and Suzy Corrigan. Published by Black Dog Publishing.

I admit it, I went on a riot grrrl frenzy, could be the symptoms of nostalgia about the youth that is now fading. But, nevertheless, and being consequent with oneself this is a must read for anyone interested not just in the movement or feminism, but also D.I.Y culture and the power and drive to make a statement creatively. In the shape of a scrapbook of detailed info, with visuals raging all kinds of zines from that time back in the  90s. This comes across as an illustrated encyclopedia that I was fortunate enough to receive on my mailbox just today.


Next Tuesday full review and new treats for your brains, your eyes and your genitalia.

Loads of love and riot grrrling.



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So I started this webpage while I was in the US, with the help and collaboration of my dear friend Mr. Rat, now am doing it on my own, and of course am finding some troubles. But what would be of it all without the troubles. It started as a professional webpage to offer alternative indie tours in the city of Berlin. Finally to admit that I am not willing to have my second job also being tour guiding. Also this blog existed for the mere fact that I love to write.  I try in English, even though if I am not so dexterous in a language that is not my own, and am humbled but my own ignorance and lack of skill. But I always think on how Samuel Beckett turned to French as his language of preference for his writingsafter the war, not that am saying that am the second epitome of  modernist literature, a genius, or even Irish. The closest to being Beckettian is me being named Lucia.  Still on try-out condition.

So the webpage has a more feminist spirit, and it´s aimed to women in their thirties whose life is not a postcard.




I have been reading  lots of material on the subject on how polygamy is more beneficial for women than for men, and vice versa, the difficulties of monogamy, natural laws, the implicit monogamy of marriage, commitment and the failure to stick to it. I am far from done, yet, and I will write the conclusions I have reached from studies, articles and personal experience.

Let´s bare in mind that monogamy was brought into light, as part of property rights, and private economics.  A contract accepted in the always concerned eyes of the state (according to its definition), for us to have certain obligations beyond emotional, spiritual…and then here we have Confucius words of wisdom:

Marriage is the union of two different surnames, in friendship and in love, in order to continue the posterity of the former sages, and to furnish those who shall preside at the sacrifices to heaven and earth, at those in the ancestral temple, and at those at the altars to the spirits of the land and grain.
Confucius, [3]

Amazingly, surprisingly…marriage, and exclusive monogamous relationship is in fact a tool invented in a male dominated system for it proves that marriage is more beneficial for men than for women. That said, and it being a contract of exclusiveness, and lifetime commitment to one, do not be foolish enough to overlook the nanoarticle where it says: but we still have the whorehouse. Bringing us back to the polygamy debate.

For starters I would read this NY Times article from 2005, am assuming written by two women, and this amazing article by Christie Church, where she writes the exact definition of what relationships ought to be. Pure logic:

These days, we’re both feminists. In feminism, we’ve found a language to describe the challenges inherent to being multifaceted, complex people in a society that reduces us to pink and blue, and we’ve found alternatives to buying into that society. Being heterosexual has afforded us many privileges, but it also has allowed us plenty of opportunities to challenge assumptions about what heterosexual marriage should be. This summer, I’ll be enrolling in full-time law school while Patrick takes over all of the household responsibilities. Eventually, Patrick would like to take some time off work to focus on writing. We’ve even discussed living apart for travel and internship opportunities.

Whatever we do, I’m confident that it won’t be motivated by the guilt that drove the early part of our relationship. While our marriage may not look like the ones we knew growing up, it works for us. We married a friend, but we got an ally.

I wouldn´t say that´s being feminist, I would say that is pure simple common sense. Back to the sex, which is the one thing that keeps the flaming argument hot and interesting. So the need of extramarital sex, the link between multiorgasm to multipartners, the length of a lifetime commitment if you think about it, it’s a known fact, there is that need, it exists, we cannot neglect it, it is a possibility as  Jay Michaelson states on his article inspired by the whole Tiger debacle.

On a personal note, I have never looked for sexual engagements outside my relations, never had an unoficial affair; BUT I did say, it´s a possibility and it´s there. I did ask for opinion (not permission) to have a sexual encounter outside the partnership with a former boyfriend. Obviously the answer was very heartbreaking, and one has to be above all things honest but yet, empathetic. So now, when I say that as a sexual being, there is more than a possibility of me having affairs outside the couple, I can see how women (the biggest defenders of monogamy) and men (the biggest defenders of polygamy) pass mentally judgements on me. Even those that ferociously defend open marriages. But, for men. Because let´s face it, this world is fucking sexist.Still.  And that just simply kills me. To admit the reality, to let in your mind a wide place for  that world of possibilities, is what keeps us mentally in track. If by marrying, starting a family, committing to a career, we neglect that world of possibilities (whether if it is a sexual affair or climbing the Everest) is not only dangerous but also counterproductive to man´s nature. And realistically, would you rather have a free individual as your life partner or an individual swimming in the whole protocol of roles, monogamous game?. Specially now in a transgender society… (I should do another poll)

So to the question, would you like to marry? the answer is YES. Now to the question would you marry? the answer is NO.

Find your terms, the ones  in which your life and your love life makes sense and feels right. That´s the key to it.

More to come.

Loads of love from every source. Love is all around you.



UPDATE: Grandparents know better.

Right, officially we are coming closer to Summer Solstice, have you not noticed it? here in upper Northern Europe. I mean c’mon, we are all gettin pretty much undressed and showing some skin. Mind the fact the love Germans have for FKK. After a day in the lake, having a swim in the cold winter waters…it is true, summer is here to stay. The title of this post refers to an old claim that my brother, and his classmates Pec and Raul came up with once the last day of school was near. But it surely has become a mantra, to any given day, when you pretty much decide to cut the scheisse and live it up. As an inspirational video, I came across through Cooler Magazine here you have “Leave a message” by Nike girls team riders.

Loads of love and play it cool



It is passion, a wild desire, it is a gypsy soul trapped in a Nordic body, it is the joy of life chosen, the rough path of the lonely warrior, the practical intelligence combined with the rawness of the good things on a plate, in a bed or on a wall whirlwind all in neon pink and neon green. It is all together needed, to become the mixed talents of a woman, emerging in not just a sexist world, but a sexist sexist branch of a sexist world, so called Art…so it does get sexual, and primitive, and funny and deep, complex…and basic. And she shows, for there is nothing to be ashamed of. Rage is a beautiful thing. Love is a beautiful thing. Thanks for your fantastic work, Marie, you deserve all things big, all things great…for you have the tools to face any challenge.

Loads of love and Karla Marie Bentzen



Since WE, Spain won the World Championship, here go my fav. footie related films.

(I just love how nazis always have a Cambridge accent in films)

Loads of love, kicks, balls, footie, studs, World Cups, and celelbration.



New discovery. Funny how I used to cut and dye my hair for years…now I like going to Sonia my hairdresser in Madrid…need to find a Turkish girl here in Berlin-OH.

Anyhow..jewel. Click on image below.

Loads of love and good readings.



P.S. Could anyone mail me the complete series of X-Factor, please…I really feel like reading it, and by no means I´ll do so in German. Na-ah.

I hate it when pornhub goes faster than youtube…i really do. I like porn. As long as is not disgusting…and you know exactly what I mean. I have a porn project in my hands (I know…anything I say from now on…has a double meaning, but what do I care huh?). For a while there has been this femenine/feminist type of porn (recently I have discovered that there are a Feminist Porn Awards )… I still haven´t got a hold into it, massively. Even though I must admit Erika Lust, seems like a very interesting filmmaker and writer, among others. I have been consuming porn since I was 12, I started masturbating at 11, being a girl…you don´t put your cock out and have a group masturbation ceremony. Porn, masturbation and sex always come unexpected for girls. I like porn, and I like sex. Let´s face the fact that I would rather watch porn than Sex in the City (stupid name). Sex or self-pleasure is far more rewarding than shopping for shoes. Word.

But here are my favourite link and source. And Kimberly´s blog is my favourite blog, no only because her excellent work, and her great sense of humour…but also this chick owns her very own Dinosaur Jr. (signed…ok, ok) skateboard. So let´s put the Kane in Kool, i say. :-)

Now, share your porn.

Loads of love and lust.



I enjoy my body, I like giving myself long stares in the nude, in the intimacy of the aftershower. I like my body, because it´s femenine, and unique, not perfect, but it´s all mine …most of the time.

I have always had the wild desire of being one of those Newton´s models, ferocious and sensous women, not as objects but as power holders, independent, defying it all in the impossible high heels.

I love my body because it gives me endless pleasure to the senses. And am thankful for that.

All this body liking issue, has taken part of my flight time to Berlin, since I found out that starting June 11th at the Helmut Newton Foundation, you can see the work of Alice Springs (pseudonym for June Newton, pretty nice name of the mister´s wife).

Loads of love, and do what body likes.



P.S. I have been busy listening to everyone, surfing and falling in and out of love. But am already back in the crack. Stay tuned, riot coming.

So…yet again comes another self embarrassing post…out loud pouring thoughts and experiences in the open, like anyone really cared. This I do, for my learning, and I never imagine who reads this or that, I don´t trully think anyone would be interested, whatsoever.

So…here we go, some things I have learnt:

  • To have high expectations on someone is the fastest way to failure.
  • Becoming friends with ex-lovers is one herculean task, if you dismissed them as lovers, what makes you think they are worthy as friends?, and if you truly believe they are worth the effort, be prepared, it won´t be easy.
  • When someone does not reply to your emails, phonecalls, text messages, or funny jokes on your social network of choice (even if your jokes are hilarious, if you are one talented brilliant mind, and fairly good-looking individual)…there is no possible excuse…the counterpart is not into you, nor won´t be. Stop being delusional and a self-cheater. Oh, and there is no rational explanation for that, but “it wasn´t meant to happen” usually works quite alrightta…and “we were not THAT fated” classic…haha. And as a classic ego booster I learnt from my brother “him/her doesn´t really know what is missing”.:-D
  • A perfect relation should be one, in wich you see your partner 6 mos a year.The remaining 6 mos each one is doing his/her own projects out of the city, and the family house, travelling or whatever. It is possible even if my friend  Ben insists there is no point into gettin in that type of relationship and far more pointless having children (dressed up as tigers of course). I think it makes sense, and it is quite possible, and thrilling.
  • Sex is overrated.
  • Love is beyond time and space.
  • Girls don´t want to be told what boys think girls like to hear, we want to be told what you truly think. No matter what. We don´t break into pieces like Bohemian  glass, although we like being taken care of. :-)
  • Anal sex is overrated.
  • When you are in love you only turn your head to look at dogs and puppies. Sometimes you look at boys/girls…in a less luscious way that if you were single.
  • Love will come in the most surprising package.
  • Even if it looks like the craziest psycho shit in the planet, it is worthy in the name of love…as long as it is not, harming to anyone. Do it. If you end up failing miserably, with no dignity for a couple days…at least you know you have the balls and also will treasure a great story to tell your grandchildren by the fireplace. The best stories are the ones we write everyday in our everyday lives, our greatness in our simple quests.
  • Believe to be loved.
  • It is ok to behave a bit like a teenager, and it is ok to believe in unicorns… among the real world demands and paying the bills. It is healthy for your brain and it keeps you in touch with your innermost dreams and innocent child.

Loads of good ´ol loving.